Monday monologues (XXII)

I don’t want to be one of those people who are getting divorced at 52 and falling down into tears, admitting they never really loved their spouse and they feel their life has been sucked up into a vacuum cleaner. You know, I want a great life. I want her to have a great life, she deserves that. But we’re just living in the pretense of a marriage, responsibility, you know, all these ideas of how people are supposed to live. But then I… I have these dreams. I have these dreams, you know, that I’m standing on a platform and you keep going by on a train and you go by, and you go by, and you go by, and you go by. And I wake up with the fucking sweats. And then I have this other dream where you’re pregnant in bed beside me naked and I want so badly to touch you, but you tell me not to and you look away. And I… And I touch you anyway, right on your ankle, and your skin is so soft that I wake up in sobs, all right? And my wife is sitting there looking at me, and I feel I’m a million miles from her. And I know that there is something wrong, that I, God, that I can’t keep living like this, that there’s gotta be more to love than commitment. But then I think that I might have given up on the whole idea of romantic love. That I might have put it to bed that day when you weren’t there. You know, I think I might have done that. (Ethan Hawke as Jesse in Before Sunset [dir. Richard Linklater, 2004])

Acest monolog se vrea o avanpremieră pentru review-ul filmului La vida de los peces al chilianului Matias Bize, oarecum similar cu Before Sunset-ul lui Linklater, însă mult mai concentrat spaţial şi de-a dreptul năucitor în materie de finaluri deschise. Înclin să cred că până mâine, pe vremea asta, voi fi în măsură să-l public (după finisările de rigoare, fireşte!).